“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

“The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.”

“I can resist anything except temptation.”

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

“True friends stab you in the front.”

“I don’t want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.”

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”

“I am not young enough to know everything.”

“Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.”

“The basis of optimism is sheer terror.”

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.”

“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”

“It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it.”

“People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it’s impossible to count them accurately.”

“Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.”

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”

“Life is too important to be taken seriously.”

“A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”