“I’m the holiday armadillo! I come bearing gifts!”

“They don’t know we know they know we know!”

“I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

“The only way I could be more excited about Christmas is if I were a tree!”

“Could I be any more excited for Christmas?”

“Oh, I wish I could, but I don’t want to.”

“I tried to make fudge, but it’s stuck in the phase between liquid and solid.”

“Christmas is canceled. All right, everyone, go home. It’s over.”

“Happy Christmas Eve, Eve, Eve!”

“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Christmas tree, asking it to love her.”

“Santa Claus is coming to town and he’s bringing me a boyfriend!”

“I hate Christmas trees! All those needles, all that glitter, all those pinecones!”

“I don’t get drunk. I just get less classy and more fun!”

“Can’t we just enjoy Thanksgiving before we’re all miserable at Christmas?”

“Christmas lights are the perfect way to hide how messy your apartment is!”

“Chandler can’t cry. That’s like Santa having a beard and no reindeer.”

“I wish I had never quit bartending. I mean, all my problems started when I stopped bartending.”

“Christmas time is all fun and games until someone loses a reindeer!”

“Christmas is like the hug you never want to end!”

“Christmas is a time for giving. And receiving. And giving. And receiving.”

“Have Yourself a Chappy Little Christmas!”

“If my Christmas bonus is turkey, I’m going to be so mad!”

“Christmas with you guys is always merry and bright… and sometimes a little drunk.”

“Dear Santa, I can explain everything…”

“Joy to the world, and all that crap!”

“Friends, turkey, football, and Joey in a Santa suit. Could it get any better than this?”