“That would be an ecumenical matter!”

“Drink! Feck! Arse!”

“Careful now!”

“I’ve had my fun and that’s all that matters.”

“You can’t get enough of that lovely Guinness!”

“That money was just resting in my account!”

“Aha! Caught you, Delilah!”

“I’m very drunk and I intend on getting still drunker before this evening’s over.”

“We’re just four Catholics who happen to be very good at football.”

“Is there anything to be said for saying another mass?”

“My lovely horse, running through the fields…”

“I declare this sort of thing to be too bloody complicated for the excitement I’m in!”

“Down with this sort of thing!”

“Women priests? Great, yeah, absolutely. Lovely lovely women priests, called Sister Michael, or Sister Somebody.”

“Drink? Feck? Girls?”

“You know, I have a lot of friends who are female priests. And, well, they’re all men.”

“The money was just resting in my account.”

“The money was just resting in my pocket.”

“It’s like a great big tide of jam coming towards us, but jam made out of old women… I mean, your worst nightmare couldn’t be as bad as this!”

“I love the smell of turf in the morning… smells like… victory!”

“It’s all part of life’s rich tapestry, Father.”

“If I wanted to see hairy arses, I’d go back to my yoga class!”

“I’m a terrible priest, but a fantastic judge of cake.”

“Ted, I’ve made a w***ing machine!”

“Ah, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on…”